Sam-The Learner

I did wrote a blog on my procrastinated lazy life few days back named "Maybe Tomorrow". This post is about the climax of my lazy days. Especially I wish to describe the motivation behind getting back to my life - Guilt. I was declared guilty of being a lazy person and not doing what was expected out of me by me. I could have lived with the guilt and remained the same, but guilt is not a good feeling and it increases exponentially with time. Guilt of not utilizing the opportunity I have got, guilt of not giving my 100 percent, guilt of not respecting the work any body does, guilt of wasting time, guilt of living a life I don't like, guilt of failing without trying, guilt of giving up, and many more, a guilty mind doesn't stop, it increases and this was the emotion because of which I am able to live a life I want and enjoy every bit of it. I code the project I am assigned, I read about the research topic I am interested in, I devote some time to prepare for my co...

This blog is about a strange phenomena which has taken over my life and I have not been able to get out of it. It is something which I have never felt before, it is something which scares the hell out of me, it is something which I haven't been able to find a solution to for a long time, it is something which I don't know. Let me first give you some context to my life. I have been a hard worker and have achieved all things with perseverance, have got no exceptional talents or gifts, so it's the only thing which I do and this make my life worth living. Working hard gives me satisfaction; which gives me happiness and in turn gives me realization that I did something worth doing. Working hard and doing something not useful doesn't matter to me, but not working hard and getting results does make me less happier. The best feeling is when I get rewards after I have worked hard for it. It doesn't happen that often but it does and that's what I live for. You can...